Replies, retorts and ribs
I was reading another tripawds post, and have also had the experience of someone being surprised by the fact that your dog has 3 legs. So this weekend my family came up with MANY replies, retorts and ribs. Some of them are a little dark…we probably could never say some of them, but we all had a great laugh! Enjoy!
What’s wrong with your dog? / Your dog has 3 legs?
- Nothing. This one didn’t come with a spare.
- OMG! He’s missing a leg!!!!
- We’re just waiting for it to grow back.
- Nothing. But why does your dog have so many legs?
- S**t, he dropped it again!
- He had a little fight, but man, you should have seen the other dog!
- I’m a magician…this is my greatest illusion!
- Kids’ science experiment gone bad.
Then, there’s the truth:
- Lawn mower
- Torn ACL/broken knee
- Cancer
- Car accident
- Hunting accident
- Transporter accident
- Shark attack
- Organ donor (ok…the last 3 are pushing it…)
And a little on the darker side:
- Closed the car door too fast.
- We BBQ’d last weekend 🙂
- Had to make good on a gambling debt
- He lost his leg in the war
- Blender accident
- Traded it for a KIA
- He’s in the process of becoming human (turning into a bi-ped!)…He really wants to learn to ride a bike 😉
- He’s Poko the Pirate!
- That D**n black bunny!!!!
- Well, what do you do when they get a bad sliver?
- Dropped the knife! Ooops!
- Got a little too close to the black hole.
- Rift in the space time continuum.
- Sewing accident
- We went a little overboard on his Halloween costume last year.
- The CROWS, the CROWS…..
- It’s just a bad haircut! They took a little too much off the back.
- Shhh…Act normal, he doesn’t know yet.
- Didn’t pay vet bill
- 3 regular and 1 “lite”
- This is “Limp-Tin-Tin”, his favorite song is “I want to break free!”
- I forgot to feed him
- Elevator accident
- Yeah, 3, but thank god he’s not a horse, if you know what I mean!
Keep laughing, and keep your spirits high. It really is the best medicine (for you and your pup!)
November 28th, 2011 at 12:27 am
Dakota never goes anywhere–he’s terribly antisocial–so we don’t run into this too often. However, we did have a few outsiders come to the house in the last few weeks and I had to sigh heavily and go through explanations. I confess that I have said he lost it in the war.
To be fair, if I’d encountered a 3-legged dog a year ago, I probably would have been one of “them.” Then I would have gotten an education, I guess. I suppose I can cut ’em all some slack.
November 28th, 2011 at 12:31 am
I’ve thought about having a t-shirt printed up that says “It tasted like chicken” but haven’t had the nerve. 🙂
We agree – laughter is definitely the best medicine!
Jackie, Abby’s mom
November 28th, 2011 at 12:48 am
love it…especially the crows, the crows…. thanks for the smile!!
charon & gayle
November 28th, 2011 at 2:29 am
We’re laughing!!! I always want to give a smart ass reply, but chicken out and give them the truth — then comes the pity, which I HATE… If I only could just be bolder!
Micki and Rio
November 28th, 2011 at 5:41 am
Maggie was a little pug, rear amp. Often people didn’t notice she was missing a leg, but would ask me why she was limping. I sometimes wanted to give a smart reply- but the worst I said was “you would limp too if you were missing a leg!”
One a**hole asked me once if I called her ‘peg’. I just stared at him- the people he was with looked really embarrassed. I couldn’t come up with a reply…
Karen and the pugapalooza
November 28th, 2011 at 5:49 pm
The tripawds gift shop has a t-shirt that says “a dog this good you can’t eat all at once” I really want to get it! I like “didn’t pay the vet bill” and “had to make good on a gambling debt” I think I’d start out the gambling one with “the dog’s got a gambling problem and was in debt to a loan shark” 🙂
November 28th, 2011 at 6:17 pm
All meant in jest, of course. And to lighten the mood. I’ve stopped to pet a tripawd in the past – hope I didn’t offend the lady when I asked what happened. I stopped because the dog was cute, and I often stop to chat with other dog owners.
I guess when someone stops me, I’ll try to keep my sense of humor, and not take anything personally, but also not retort too harshly. Only with a wink and a smile. It’s just easier to avoid the pity-party 🙂
There was a suggestion to change Poko’s name to Pogo….not bad 🙂 kinda funny…he bounces along with a huge smile on his face now. It could be worse.
And I can’t believe we missed “Tasted like chicken!” That’s great!
Maybe a gentle reply to “Peg” could be…no I call her/him “Tripod”